Dear.......

With regards to your comment ' Don't rehearse it'.  My concern is for receiving prayer for abuse from my mother which is happening now , not abuse in the past. The Counsellor has told me that the abuse which is concerning me is not historical , but alive and dynamic. It's abuse that's been happening right now.  It's not past abuse. I spoke with my dear friend Alex Robb who is a Christian with a considerable knowledge of the old and new testament. He states that neither the old testament or new testament mistake forgiveness for amnesia.  Amnesia and forgiveness are very different things.  I have forgiven my mother for past offences but i am not mindless nor is my mind empty.  I am aware of my mother's behaviour both in the past and in the present.  And I need prayer for healing of current abuse by my mother not past abuse. 

My friend Alex assures me that what I have written about is a direct and faithful reflection of the teaching of Jesus.  Which may be summed up as Christians are called to forgive but not have amnesia. Also we should 'share one another's burdens and thus fulfill the work of Christ.'

King Saul said to David ' Forgive me and come back to live with me in the palace.  David replied ' I think it best that I remain on this hill and you on the other hill', He did not have a failure of memory.  He was well aware that although Saul had been forgiven by him, Saul could not be trusted.  My situation is exactly the same, I have forgiven my mother, but I am well aware that she cannot be trusted.  

Alex assures me the teaching of the old testament is identical to the new testament on the topic of forgiveness and salvation.   Jesus said not a single part of the law would be denied by Him.  That He came to fulfill the law not to abolish it.  Alex said it would be a good idea for people to move on from the milk of the word to the meat of the word.  And there are too many Christians  that are bottle-fed babies.  Anyone who denies the old testament denies the new testament. The old testament is as important as the new testament.  The teachings of the old and new testament stand or fall together.  If one can be ignored then so can the other be.  

The teaching that all people will be saved is a Christian heresy called universalism.  The actual teaching that noone will be lost is universalism.  It says that Judas went to the place that was appointed for him and he would not be saved.   It says there is no rest for the wicked, so prayers for wicked people are definately not always appropriate.  Our assumption is that our thoughts are the same as Gods thoughts, but God says my thoughts are higher than your thoughts and my ways are higher than your ways.   Prayer is about agreement with God in what God intends to do.  With regard to sum of the things I've been urged to pray about, it is far from certain that they reflect what God intends to do.  It says we are to work out our salvation with fear and trembling and it is my mothers responsibility to do this.  There is no Biblical evidence that suggests I can substitute my actions for my mother's actions or lack of actions thereof.  My mother needs to work out her own salvation with fear and trembling, not say that's my daughter's job.  The idea that I could do so is an  historical Catholic idea and not part of a protestant thinking.  

Much love in Christ, 

Julie

My Director friend of the Healing Rms reply letter to me "Hi Julie,

I agree with you all the way. Yes we do continue to forgive actions as they occur - Jesus says 70 times 7. Past actions are forgiven, and also present ones. That way we live in freedom, free from bitterness. But as you say, forgiveness doesn't mean forgetting. But when the reminder of offences come, we can say, "Yes, she did that, but I have chosen to forgive her. Father God bless her in every way."And if you are choosing to bless your mother every time satan prompts you to recall what happened, it won't be long before he will stop reminding you. 

Nor does forgiveness necessarily mean reconciliation. As you have said, people who have hurt you have broken a relationship, and that cannot be restored overnight. Trust has to be earned, and it would be unwise to do otherwise. 

So we bless you Julie in your journey, deeper into Him, the lover of your soul.

With many blessings

.......

Many Saints were persecuted by their family. ''The first recorded act of violence was due to family persecution—Cain murdering his brother Abel out of religious jealousy. King David bemoans the betrayal of a close friend in Psalm 41:9, “Even my bosom friend in whom I trusted, who ate of my bread, has lifted his heel against me.” Jeremiah is dismayed to find members of his own family involved in an assassination plot against him; “…even your kinsfolk and your own family, even they have dealt treacherously with you; they are in full cry after you” (Jeremiah 12:6).''. Persecuted families, Bible Gateway

My cherished Christian friend Chris wrote this: 'Words from men and women are powerful. Words from our parents are very powerful. They are what help mould us and create our character. When words from our parents are sharp, cruel or offensive and thrown at us without love we are left with wounds. Often wounds that leave deep scars. But the words of Jesus Christ are sharper than any two-edged sword. They are truth and they are life. The word of God heals all wounds. When you are strengthened by the word of God no weapon fashioned against you shall prosper. Listen carefully Sister Julie. Your relative's words even though they were hurtful and cruel have not been able to penetrate your meek and humble character. This is a miracle, this means the love of God has been established in your life long before you were born. Despite persecution from your own relative you still remain loving and caring. This is truly the glory of God.

a Rhema word given by Beloved Jesus to the church elder of the Healing Rooms to tell me.

I was told by my ex Deacon cherished Christian friend Bruce, that I needed to build my self worth up after years of abuse by my relative.  A week later I attended my local Christian Healing Rooms, and low and behold Beloved Jesus told the Director M....a Rhema Word to tell me.  The Rhema Word was in Jeremiah 31vs. 3 and 4..." I will build you up again..and you will be rebuilt.'' This occurred on 02/11/16.  I thank my Beloved Jesus.

my Christian prose

The wrought-iron gate swung open, Father and I walk along the path up to the Rectory. A blue wren sings a sibilant note in the branches above. A book of homilies in my hand as My Father Jesus reads to me a verse. I read His love for me in every chapter of my Holy book. As I read to Him His living Word in the verses of my Bible, my Father reads me. I read His love for me in every chapter of my life. His gaze is loving and His countenance looks upon me. His words are soft and maniloquent and He speaks to my heart like a Romantic author and poet. He writes pages to me on our walk along the path and I hear His Word as promises…. to me in a love letter in Spirit. The birds sing songs of praise as I read His love letter to me as poetry and fidelity in Spirit. A love letter in Spirit, He tells me that He delights in me and that I am a sweet rose in bloom. Like the velvety red roses in the cultivated garden and like the climbing rose on the wall of the Parsonage. By Julie Ralphs 

a sweet little allegory By Julie Ralphs

' As the hart panteth after the water brooks,
 so panteth my soul after thee O'God.'  Psalm 42:1
 
The little blue and crimson finch sings in the boughs.  His sweet conversation to the deer as he pants at the water brooks, refreshing his spirit. His gentle eyes take in the hues of the Chapel-like forest, and the leaves of friendship fall about their timid love. The flowers, He fills with a fragrance in the grove.  I receive into my spirit faith that bears a flower and a life full of joy, peace, love, kindness and all the fruits of His nature.

 
A little butterfly with gossamer wings in a poetic dance of joy frolicks on the unfurling petals of a pink virgin rose. The little fawn sniffs delicately and she settles on it. ' By Julie Ralphs
 
This is a sweet allegory that discusses the fruit of the Holy Spirit, Galatians 5: 22-23.  THe fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, faith, meekness, temperance, and the nature of the little fawn.

my prose by Julie Ralphs

In the sitting room, Fanny sobs as she is read as a classical novelette by Natalie.  A nu-Bronte in ‘ Sence and Sensibility’, in the NEXT ROOM at the Grange.  Fanny’s fluffy compendium is left on the drawing table.  The diary opens a window to another worldly portrait of her as a modern day heroine and not a sketch of a lady of English middle class life as penned in the eighteenth century.

Its leafs are filled with the sweetness of countenance and her little love petal notelets that are tied together in a soft lace.  In her own private language- sweet pony prayers that belong to the language of the soul.  A canvas sketches her, where she sits there as though painted there.  Her black hair disposed in glossy ringlets falls softly abut her visage.

There are quiet conversations but it is only in the opening chapter of Jane Austen’s book.  Dining at Thrushcross Lodge are the Middletons, the analogy is taken indoors.  Fanny puts away her needlework, as her Gentleman caller arrives.  Holding out a hand in a long primrose- coloured  glove, there is a sweet but serious kiss.  And with a playful tone in her words, ‘ Must I pour out his tea, Papa’. Papa was impressed with her voice, look and air.  He smiled upon her,’My dear Fanny’.  A tray was brought of old Worcester porcelain.  The bourgeois cosiness and domesticity revisited.

Among the lace in the bosom of her silk dress.  Edward’s picture was in a tiny locket about her neck.  Fanny sits down to the pianoforte and plays something appropriate to love’s young dream, love’s ephemerioe.  He stood beside her in a cream waistcoat with gold and onyx buttons and took up his glasses, a little book of her nature poems in hand, came to life in her soft lyrics.

Aunt Anne looked up from her Romantic novel in her velvet chair.  She read the maniloquent words in the pages of her life.  Her cameo ring, reminded her so much of her mistress.  Fanny’s portrait next to the still-life’s seemed to stare back in astonishment.  A soft and tender smile seemed to come through the ether like the warmth and perfume of a flower.  The fictional young lady is re-invented by an authoress to be the heroine of something other than just her own life.  

Her  hands gloved in French grey, were crossed one over the other.  She blushed a smile so sweetly kind.  Edward interrupted her reverie. ‘ There is a painting in her face’ he writes.  And then his eyes fixed upon a portrait in the drawing room, which was filled with the rich odour of roses.  And they strolled towards the door that led down a path into the parsonage garden.  Two butterflies fluttered past them.  The wrought –iron gate, opens to Edward’s thought of an erotic plate of his mistress in a lacey frock swinging in a garden seat,  sat on the mantelpiece.

With her black ringlets streaming in the light summer breeze in sepia.  Edward slipped a notelet and key into the seam of her petticoat.  The flowers of the ephemeral  sewn into her panties.   A book in her hand, and a pony read of Fanny Hill.  He sees her, his mistress and governess in spirit at the Rector’s garden.  They meet in secret and walk through to the grove.  He meets her with a love letter in a dream.

 Fanny lies on the grass with the letters, and Edward makes her a bracelet out of the pink and white daisies.  She reads to him some nature verse  from a little book by  Emily Dickinson. In her lap lies Edward and  a soft embroidery of the Manor and the Estate. Her book of homilies.

Under the shady boughs and the pink laburnum and lengthening vistas, sits the realm Seamstress on the garden seat with her sketches of her, and Edward’s letters are tied in a religious lace in the pages of her diary as a kind of narrative coverture. By Julie Ralphs @ copyright 

Psalm 27:10

I remind myself that Jesus has a mother's heart, after my parent's abuse of me and the scripture verse ' When my mother or father forsake me, God will take care of me.' Psalm 27:10 ...exposition verse 10:-'When my father and my mother forsake me. These dear relations will be the last to desert me, but if the milk of human kindness should dry up even from their breasts, there is a Father who never forgets. Some of the greatest of the saints have been cast out by their families, and persecuted for righteousness' sake. Then the Lord will take me up. Will espouse my cause, will uplift me from my woes, will carry me in his arms, will elevate me above my enemies, will at last receive me to his eternal dwelling place.'